Hesped.org — Isidore (Yitzchak) Wolf

Words by

Rabbi Claude Vecht-Wolf Son

It is 3.33am on Tuesday 4 July, 15 Tammuz, and I am sitting here at my computer keyboard and there is nowhere else I would rather be at this moment, just as I felt a few days ago, beside your bed on Shabbat, with Stephnie and with the Shechinah, Gd’s Divine presence, radiating His peace above us.

Dad. R’ Yitzchak Asher ben Yechezkel Shraga (zecher livracha, may his memory be a blessing) you have taught and inspired me and made me the man I am today, along with your Eshet Chayil, my beloved mother.

you radiated a love that enveloped everyone you met

When I was young, on Shabbat afternoons, we learned Mishna, the Oral Law, which I still love to this day. You also tried, bless you, to teach me maths, which I didn’t like at all and which led to very different results. But, at the heart of everything you did was your heart.

• Your love for me.

• Your dedication to my education.

• Your education that taught me the importance of dedicating one’s life to the pursuit of study – something which I practice every day, as an IT teacher and Rabbi, bestriding two very different worlds.

• Harmonising the beauty and importance of life as a Gd fearing Jew in a twenty-first century world which doesn’t always understand how difficult that balance is.

That is you, darling Dad.

You, who learned Torah at the feet of Harav Hagaon Dov Ber Solveitchik ztl (zecher tzaddik livracha, may the memory of the righteous be a blessing) and his brother Aharon Solveitchik ztl.

With such giants, names which I have carried in my subconscious for as long as I can remember, how could I not appreciate and value the teachings of my own Father as a result? You learned from the best because you are the best.

For the ninety four years, ten months and eight days that your Neshama, your soul, inhabited your body in this world, you radiated a love that enveloped everyone you met.

I’m fine. The food is good and the people are nice.

Even in your last two years, after Mum had left us, you managed to make new friends at the Jewish Care Otto Schiff home. Sonia, Leezette and Mary, Anne, Walid and Grace, Alan, Rahul and Kwesi and many others who looked after you and came to love you because you showed such love to them.

Their selfless and endless dedication to you, the sheer joy you gave them by just being there (even when you weren’t being as compliant as they would have liked) demonstrated the power you have to bring the best out of people.

When we would visit you and ask how you were, you would answer, “I’m fine. The food is good and the people are nice,” in your unmistakable New York accent. It never failed to raise a smile even if we knew that you had used the same line with us so many times before. The ever present twinkle in your eyes lit up the room.

So how can I adequately describe you today? How can I really convey the presence that you shared with us, in a few words?

Honestly, it is impossible because you are a true original and that’s why at 4.03 in the morning, I am still grappling with the enormity of your passing and how much we will all miss you.

If I were to ascribe a verse, a pasuk of the Mishna to you, one that perfectly sums up your character and your name, Yitzchak Asher, I need look no further than one of your favourites, in Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Fathers, Perek Revii, Chapter 4, Pasuk/Verse 1:

Ben Zoma said בֶּן זוֹמָא אוֹמֵר,

“Who is wise? One who learns from everyone.” אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם, הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם,

As it is said (in Tehillim/Psalms 119) “From all my teachers, I gained wisdom.” שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים קיט) מִכָּל מְלַמְּדַי הִשְׂכַּלְתִּי כִּי עֵדְוֹתֶיךָ שִׂיחָה לִּי

Who is strong? One who masters his evil impulse, אֵיזֶהוּ גִבּוֹר, הַכּוֹבֵשׁ אֶת יִצְרוֹ,

As it is said (in Mishlei/Proverbs 16) “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules over his spirit is better than he who conquers a city.” שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי טז) טוֹב אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם מִגִּבּוֹר וּמשֵׁל בְּרוּחוֹ מִלֹּכֵד עִיר

Who is rich? One who rejoices in what he has, as it is said (in Tehillim/Psalms 128) “When you eat from the labour of your hands, you will be happy and all will be well with you.” אֵיזֶהוּ עָשִׁיר, הַשָּׂמֵחַ בְּחֶלְקוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים קכח) יְגִיעַ כַּפֶּיךָ כִּי תֹאכֵל אַשְׁרֶיךָ וְטוֹב לָךְ

“You will be happy” – in this world “and all will be well with you – in the world to come.” אַשְׁרֶיךָ, בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה. וְטוֹב לָךְ, לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא.

Who is honoured? One who honours others, as it is said (in Sefer Shmuel/Samuel 1, Chapter 2) “Those who honour me, I will honour but those who scorn me will be despised.” אֵיזֶהוּ מְכֻבָּד, הַמְכַבֵּד אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמואל א ב) כִּי מְכַבְּדַי אֲכַבֵּד וּבֹזַי יֵקָלּוּ:

There is so much wisdom one can derive from this for you are wise, strong and indeed very honoured. If I were however to zoom in on one line, it would be:

Who is rich? One who rejoices in what he has. אֵיזֶהוּ עָשִׁיר, הַשָּׂמֵחַ בְּחֶלְקוֹ

Avi Mori, my father my teacher, R’ Yitzchak Asher, you are rich because you rejoice in what you have. Your name, Yitzchak means “laughter” and boy, do you know how to laugh. If we wanted to raise a smile, a simple question to you would be, “Dad, what do you think of the Belgians?”. Your frank answer is unprintable, and even more inappropriate to say in this setting, but it never failed to amuse us and you went along with the joke sharing your infectious laugh with all and sundry.

You have always rejoiced in what you have

Behind the joy though, was the knowledge that you had not had an easy start to life, as I described in a recent Drasha, sermon that I gave.

• How you suffered on a daily basis from the antisemitism that was rife in pre-War Antwerp.

• How you and your parents, my grandparents left the city on the very last ship before the Nazi invasion leaving behind your maternal grandparents, who survived the war in hiding in France.

• How you arrived in New York without being able to speak a word of English.

• How you managed, as an eleven year old child, to recommence your life and rise to the top of your class, eventually attending YU (Yeshiva University) and studying Architecture at Columbia University.

• How you left your beloved New York in 1963 and moved to this country with Mom, making the difficult decision to leave your parents behind. It wasn’t easy but you never complained.

Even in the last few months, you accepted your lot and managed to smile in the face of adversity.

Because you are rich. You have always rejoiced in what you have. You have truly lived up to your name of Yitzchak Asher, a wealthy man who laughs. You and Mom spent fifty nine years creating a bayit ne’eman beyisrael, a truly vibrant and loving Jewish home.

I regret nothing

As a proud American who never took on British citizenship because you could never forgive the ‘Limeys’ for their ‘despicable’ behaviour during the Mandate, you would be especially chuffed to be interred on 4 July. The irony of this date has not been lost on me.

Frank Sinatra famously sang, “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention,” but you had none. I asked you once if you regretted anything and you responded, “I regret nothing,” because you were always happy with your portion. There was no bitterness in your heart (except towards the Belgians.)

And what a portion it is.

• The pride that filled your face whenever you saw your beautiful and very smart granddaughters, Hadassah, Talia, Michal and Shira and said “Hello” in your distinctive way.

• How, when I visited, you shouted out to everyone in the nursing home that, “This is my son and I am so proud of him and I love him.”

• How, even when you could not speak, you expressed with your hands that you loved me and wanted me to always love Stephnie. This is you, my darling father.

• The last words you communicated with me, on Shabbat, firstly with your whispered voice and then with hand gestures, was, “I love you.”

nobility, grace and loyalty

You loved drawing, as is demonstrated by the many paintings and sketches that you have left us. Your particular favourite was sketching horses, which emanated from your love of Westerns, especially those starring John Wayne. Like you, horses represent nobility, grace and loyalty. Traits that are woven into the fabric of your personality. Once Isi was someone’s friend, you knew that he was there for you, for life.

On Shabbat, as I leined the Parasha of Chukat which brings together the notions of attaining spiritual purity and death (through the ritual of the sprinkling of the ashes of the Parah Adumah/Red Heifer), I was struck by how appropriate the pesukim, the verses were at that precise moment. For you were the epitome of purity and I knew that sadly, I could not hold on to you forever. Perhaps, that is why Gd’s presence in your room was so palpable.

In this week’s Parasha, we will read about the righteous daughters of Tzelaphchad who asked Moshe to ensure that they received their father’s portion of the land they were about to enter. They wanted to ensure that his legacy would continue through to the next generation.

I can hear their pleas and understand their pain because I too want to do the same, in your name. I am so very proud and humbled to be your son, to carry on your name (albeit lengthened and joined with Mom’s) and you generously provided me with the Yesod, the foundation, to do so.

I know how much it meant to you and Mom when I was awarded my Semicha. I will learn Torah in your name and continue to share your vision of what it means to be an extremely proud Jew in our challenging modern world.

It is 5.36 am and I dedicate myself to this. In your memory, in your zechut, your merit, I will pray that Hashem gives me the chizuk, the strength, to honour this pledge. Thank you, Dad. Take care of Mom up there and may Hashem protect you both always.

With every ounce of my love, ‘From Me To You’ (I had to throw a Beatles reference in there.)

T’hay nafsho tzrurah bitzror hachaim,

“May his soul be bound up in the bond of life.”

Amen.

Words by

Rabbi Claude Vecht-Wolf Son

Birshut Harabanim, my darling Stephnie, Hadassah, Talia, Michal and Shira, precious family and friends who have joined us from near and far. Thank you for being here this afternoon. I would also like to give a special mention to Michael Smith, a dear friend of my parents and I, who has travelled here today all the way from Lille in France for this service as well as family and friends who are joining us virtually on Zoom from around the world.

Thank you all for coming together to honour my late father and teacher, Avi Mori, Reb Yitzchak Asher ben Yechezkel Shara (Zichrono Livracha, May your memory be a blessing). He would have been humbled to have so many people gathering to remember him.

Exactly a year ago, almost to the hour, on the Hebrew date of Tet Vav (the fifteenth of Tammuz), we stood here in front of his aron (coffin) and mourned the loss of a man who was a beloved father, father-in-law, grandfather, uncle, great-uncle and dear friend to so many people.

As I entered my year of aveilut (mourning) I, and everyone here, could not have known the indescribable tragedy that would impact the Jewish nation (and many others) a mere three months and three days later. On the morning of Shmini Atzeret (and in Israel) Simchat Torah, Klal Yisrael, the nation of Israel also became aveilim.

Every day in our Shacharit prayers, we recite Psalm 147 and pray that Gd heals the broken-hearted and binds up their sorrows. It is also a verse that is included in the memorial prayer and one that I extend to each and every one of us who consider themselves to be a mourner for the kedoshim, the holy souls, who were murdered on 7 October. May their memories be a bracha (a blessing).

Over the year, I have thought about how he would have revelled in the notion that he, the most patriotic of Americans, alongside Rabbi Feldman,Shlita (*see Hesped Team note below) – hamavdil bein chayim lechayim- ended up being buried on the most important of days, 4 July. It’s a 1/365 chance. How he would have laughed!

proud Jew, Zionist and scholar, linguist and artist

The reason we have assembled here, besides honouring him, is to consecrate his headstone. In deciding the pasuk(verse) that I wanted to have displayed below his name, I really had no hesitation in choosing the most appropriate one which I will discuss shortly.

The inscription below his name states that he was a ‘proud Jew, Zionist and Scholar, Linguist and Artist’.

Judaism and Zionism were integral to him. Yiddishkeit, the love of Judaism and Tzionut (the Land of Israel). Zionism was a constituent of the blood which flowed throughout his body. All one had to do was to look at the expression on his face when our plane landed numerous times at Ben Gurion airport. He was literally beaming with pride.

As regards to being a scholar, he was an intellectual by nature. His love of learning the Tanach (Hebrew Bible) and Mishnah (Oral Torah) were in equal measure with his interests in discovering every field of study, from Architecture and Engineering, to Science, Geography and History.

fluent in no fewer than seven languages

The inscription then focuses on his artistic gifts which lent themselves to his profession and passion for drawing. Everyone, and I really do mean everyone, who visited my parents were privy to their latest sketches, drawings and paintings. He was a true polymath. If that weren’t enough, he was a multilinguist who was fluent in no fewer than seven languages which included English, French, Hebrew, Yiddish and Dutch. At the same time, he wore his natural talent lightly.

In a short while, we will celebrate his life through the siyum (completion of an established unity of Torah study) that is being held in his memory.

A number of us have learned Mishnayot in order to help elevate his neshama (soul) to his final destination in Olam Ha’Emet, the World of Truth.

I specifically chose to learn Messechet Avot, granted that I have chosen his epitaph from Perek Dalet,Chapter 4 verse 1.

Ben Zoma said בֶּן זוֹמָא אוֹמֵר,

“Who is wise? One who learns from everyone.” אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם, הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם,

Who is strong? One who masters his evil impulse, אֵיזֶהוּ גִבּוֹר, הַכּוֹבֵשׁ אֶת יִצְרוֹ,

Any of the above could have applied to my father, but the question which I felt to be most appropriate was “Who is rich? One who rejoices in what he has”. This is a homophone contrasting his middle name Asher, which begins with an Aleph and Ashir which begins with an Ayin.

lit up every room that he entered

His name, which he shares with one of the sons of Yaakov Aveinu and his descendants, is derived from the Hebrew word ‘Osher’ which means happiness. As I said in my hesped(eulogy) a year ago, he was a beacon of joy. When he smiled, it was as though he was transmitting one thousand luminous megawatts. He lit up every room that he entered.

Ashir with an Ayin means wealth. He was blessed with riches that extended beyond a monetary value. It took very little to make hm happy and he truly rejoiced in what he had. I could not have considered a more appropriate epitaph for his stone.

In this week’s Parasha of Pinchas, we read of three instances of succession; the special designation of eternal Kehuna/Priesthood given by Gd to Pinchas and his descendants; the inheritance given to the daughters of Tzelaphchad in the Land of Israel; and the appointment of Yehoshua/Joshua by Moshe as the man who would subsequently lead the Bnei Yisrael into the Promised Land upon the death of Moshe Rabbeinu.

I couldn’t think of more appropriate Sedra to represent how I feel about taking on the mantle he handed over to me a year ago. It is one that I do not wear lightly but do so in the knowledge that I am continuing the incredible mesorah (tradition) that he and my mother inherited from their parents and they from theirs in the unbroken chain that stretches back to Avraham Avinu (which I know about, as I traced it on My Heritage).

adored

I will do my utmost to honour it as long as Gd allows me stay on this earth and will duly hand it on to your granddaughters, Hadassah, Talia, Michal and Shira to pass it on to their children. He was so proud of them as are we, and they absolutely adored him.

Thank you, Dad for everything that you did to help form me into the person I am today. Without you and Mum, I would have been a very different individual. You instilled in me the values that I cherish and live by. You were my rock and inspiration.

May Hashem protect you up there alongside Mum and Please Gd, we will be reunited in the very near future with the coming of Moshiach, may he arrive Bimhayra Beyameinu (speedily and in our days).

Amen.

*The term ‘Shlita’ is actually an acronym, and stands for the words “Sheyichye L’Orech Yamim Tovim Aruchim”.This means that we pray that he “will live many long and good days. As a word, Shlita means that the Rabbi was a person of leadership.