Hesped.org — Stuart Reece

Words by

Ashley Reece & Martine Reuben Son & Daughter

Ashley

It is lovely to see so many of you. We are truly grateful for all the effort you have made to be here. We were wondering if you are only here because now you can get a word in edgeways.

Martine

Actually we are a bit worried, dad may still heckle us!

Ashley

Dad, you have been the most generous, loving and supportive father. You leave a massive empty chasm. You were in many ways a larger-than-life character and you lived a full, fun and vibrant life.

Once met never forgotten

Martine

You were born in 1944 on 11 September to Lily and Issy Reece, our dear grandparents of blessed memory. Your father a kosher butcher no less. Your dear sister, our Auntie Devorah, born five years later, who has made the journey from Manchester, and so we are complete in honouring Dad today just as it should be. You had a charmed childhood filled with mischievous high jinx with your mates that make your school days sound like an episode of Just William or Grange Hill.

Ashley

You were educated at Stand Grammar and made long and firm friendships lasting to this day, rekindled in recent years with the online Zoom calls with the Stand boys, still keeping in touch after all these years.

Martine

You played football for the North Manchester Jewish League and were a star striker, once labelled as having the best legs in Jewish League football.

You were a keen ice skater and used to float around the Manchester ice rink. You had an eye for the ladies from an early age, once disappearing from the ice only to be found in the top seated tier with none other than the Eighties pop singer Elkie Brookes.

Ashley

A rockstar life beckoned for a while with your foray into band management of an act called The Admirals, where for years we thought the gutsy guitar riff in the song you produced in the 1960s( and you found recently on a website to download) was you. Whereas in fact it was “the guitarist who used to play with the Beatles”.

Martine

You kept to the admiral theme by wearing a seafarers jacket at a JNF do in 1967 where you met a sweet Sixties chick with a thick fringe, long hair and a cracking figure, a certain Wendy Lipkin, who spied you across a crowded room and said who’s that dishy guy sitting in the corner. Being very shortsighted, she put on her glasses, and when looking with more clarity was still enamoured and soon after you were engaged to be married. A rocky start as your future father-in-law, Mum’s dear father, our Grandpa Alf died in 1970, a few months before your wedding.

Ashley

I came along in 1972, and Martine in 1975, so if you take the gematria of…

Martine

….actually no gematria today.

We lived on Moss Lane, in Sale, South Manchester, later moving a few roads away to the famous bungalow called ‘Tregaron’, where we had over thirty years of many, happy family times, with marquees and coloured bows on the simcha bush marking birthdays, engagements, anniversaries and my wedding. It is still a mystery how you allowed those tents on your hallowed turf.

you lived and breathed your work, and were never short of a boring tax story

Ashley

You worked on your accountancy articles, in a firm in Manchester, and when your new found parental responsibilities came along, you asked for a raise and was given a measly few quid so in not untypical style, thought that was ludicrous and decided to get out of the firm and bought into your own practice in Warrington forming Wilson Reece and Co, where you worked for an amazing forty five years. Retirement was a wrench because you lived and breathed your work, and were never short of a boring tax story.

Martine

You liked to dress smart, wear unusual glasses, and alternative, dapper attire. You had an exclusive collection of little-known-about men’s clothes shops in Wilmslow, and later Stanmore, whose proprietors you would refer to as ‘my man’.

Ashley

Generous in so many ways you welcomed your mother-in-law, Mum’s mummy, our Grandma Ruth, to stay for every Yom Tov, celebration, or just for a visit, giving an opportunity to have a wonderful relationship with our grandma. And she loved you, nicknaming you ‘Fiery Fred’ and calling you a good man, and your respect of her, as of your own dear parents who you idolised, really embodied the Fifth Commandment – honour your mother and father.

Martine

You loved your nieces and nephews, who say you have been like a father figure to them. Advising, supporting and being there when it mattered. Your great nieces and great nephews also benefited from your wise counsel.

You thought about opening an online complaint-writing bureau called diabolical.com

Ashley

You called me Mr Man before the Mr Men.

You used the word ‘ream’ way before anyone in TOWIE.

You were an early adopter of tech – Atari, video recorder, camcorder and satellite TV Although you nearly came a cropper when you got two mobile phones cloned and the company recorded a call in Birmingham and Leeds simultaneously when Martine called Danielle on the cloned phones.

Martine

You were opinionated. You liked to complain. Sorry…. you loved to complain. You thought about opening an online complaint-writing bureau called diabolical.com. Your most recent success included a chain of four free meals at The Ivy. No wonder it became your favourite restaurant. But you were never one for what you called ‘poncey food’, preferring fish and chips which you always called ‘chish and fips’.

Ashley

You loved Manchester United all your life. You lived Manchester United at one time. You played for Manchester United in a businessman’s match and would try and put off any prospective sons or daughters- in-law by making them watch your video of it. Danielle and Darren embraced this, thankfully for me and Martine.

Martine

A mishugas of being fearful of flying (despite jetting off on many European holidays when we were younger – I know we could not work it out either) you were a seasoned sailor and loved the crack of the cruise, even better if you got a free upgrade and a load of on board credit. We sang a Les Miz parody song at your lockdown fiftieth anniversary afternoon tea. Sadly there will not be One Cruise More.

You loved rabbonim, and rabbonim loved you

Ashley

You reached an amazing milestone of fifty one years of marriage to our dear Mum. Some say she deserves a medal for putting up with you, but she did and you moved to London six years ago for her. We are immensely proud of you moving your life in Manchester to come to London. You used to say you don’t know why the country does not tip up with so many people moving there. But you wanted to live your twilight years nearer to us all. After a few initial homesick moments, you embraced your new life with true Stu vigour and with your snooker mates, pool friends and Zoom groups, you were very happy to be here.

Martine

You were community, being the treasurer of Sale Shul for more years than anyone cares to count. Through that work you had the mitzvah to work with a number of rabbonim, and you loved rabbonim, and rabbonim loved you.

Ashley

You could be a bit strict at times when we were growing up, but you have been the most loving, caring, kind and generous father. And you adored being a grandfather, soft, a bit daft and very doting. You idolised your dear granddaughters, being Popa to Ella, Natasha and Paige and you regaled anyone who would listen with stories of their antics and achievements.

Martine

You were droll, funny, cheeky and dry witted. Once met never forgotten.

Sociable, sporty – football as we have heard, cricket and latterly snooker, winning the seniors trophy at Hartsbourne in 2019, retaining your title through the pandemic. You were thrilled with your achievement and with your name going up on the champions board. There is talk we believe of a trophy in your honour. You would love that.

Ashley

You liked a glass of white wine, or a whiskey…usually with coke, or a lager and lime, lime in first. You weren’t all that with the dogs, complaining of dog hair on your trousers, even if the breed does not moult. Yet you sometimes could be seem stroking your grand-dogs, Strudel, Lenny or Reggie’s heads , and not just after a few drams of Auchentoshen.

Martine

You grew Reeces Ream Tomatoes on your balcony one summer. You cherished your Coutts bank account. You knew all the prices in Lidl, Aldi and Tesco, but mainly of the cans of fizzy drink. You knew every petrol price from Stanmore to Edgware. You resisted an Iphone for years, using an old style Nokia and an old i-touch which you called Popa’s Tippy Tappy phone.

You wrote a mean speech and your delivery was sharp

Ashley

You were so proud of us and our achievements, sharing our work success and my qualifying as a doctor truly lit you up. Your pride in Martine’s business achievements were obvious to everyone. You shared your nachas in our successes across family and friends.

Martine

You were the MediAccounts office boy, keeping tabs on the wages, doing payroll and one of your favourite things, making sure everyone was on the correct tax code.

Ashley

Of all the things you did for me the one I want to thank you for was a deal we struck around 1980. You agreed I could stop going to midweek cheder if we went with you to shul on a Shabbat morning. I kicked back at first but you literally dragged me kicking and screaming until I came to understand the atmosphere, spirituality and format of the Shabbat service and soon I was drawn in to the world of shul going and I loved nothing more than our Shabbat walks to shul. I am a shul goer because of you. And I cannot thank you enough for instilling that in me and doing that deal.

Martine

Of all things you did for me, including giving me my eyebrows, was a love of sport and music. You watched me play every single tennis, netball and hockey match at school. You came with me to see plays by Chekhov and never complained. Who knew?

You bought me a flute, violin and then my piano and you did ‘sing dooz’ with me while I played the piano and you strummed your guitar and Ashley sang. My piano repertoire is all your 60s and 70s guitar sheet music that you took to the office and asked your secretary to make photocopies of and put into packs for me that I still have.

Shalom Dovid Ben Yisroel

Ashley

The sedra we read yesterday was Emor which means ‘to speak’. Well dad you liked to tell a micey* or two. Sometimes described as long, boring miceys but only in an affectionate, endearing, Stuart sort of way.

You were an Associate of the London College of Music with an ALCM qualification in teaching verse speaking . You wrote a mean speech and your delivery was sharp. These are skills we learnt from a master like you.

Martine

You could moan and complain be just a little bit bossy and sometimes Mr Negative but you were sweet, caring, kind and nurturing. I understood your mad ways and although you didn’t always express your feeling we knew you loved us very, very much. I will never ever meet someone like you again in my life, you were larger than life and I will hear your words and your sayings in my head forever.

Ashley

We love you, we miss you. Although you weren’t one for slowing down, sitting still or taking it easy, dad Rest In Peace.

Stuart David Reece • Shalom Dovid Ben Yisroel

Born 11 September 1944 • 23 Elul 5704

Died 13 May 2022 • 12 Iyar 5782

Taken too soon and too suddenly. Missed forever.

*Hesped Team: Ashley explained that the term “micey” is a family interpretation of the Yiddish “bubbes meises” which is defined as an untrue story or inconsequential thing or minor happening.

Words by

Darren Reuben Son-in-Law

Thank you Ashley, Wendy and Martine for giving me the opportunity to say a few words about Stuart, or as I had been calling him recently, Stu-Pot, a result of his snookering prowess.

As a father-in-law and as a man, I’d love to say I looked up to him…..but at five foot nothing that was simply impossible.

I adored Stuart and will miss him greatly.

I will miss him sat around the dining room table, as he did very often, always in the same seat, with snack in hand. An Eccles cake was a firm favourite, anything chocolatey but nothing too hard or crunchy for fear of cracking a tooth. A coffee, milk with two sweeteners or his soft drink of choice, an ice-cold Diet Coke.

Whilst sat, he’d want to tell me a micey, which as we know by now is a long boring story. He’d always start one of these by saying……”Have I told you about my call to…..” The call could be to any form of institution that had wronged him in some way. Usual suspects included Sky, O2 or his two favourites, the local council and HMRC.

many gripes to Hertsmere council

One of his many gripes to Hertsmere council was the speed of cars coming down the High Road here in Bushey. He was offered a training course to use a speed gun if I recall, something I thought he would have relished. I could just see him in his favourite attire of t-shirt and boxer shorts, speed gun in hand, admonishing drivers who he would call bloody idiots.

I’ve digressed…..”Have I told you about my call to…..” and for years, I stupidly said “No” and was then subjected to the micey. But in recent years, I had an epiphany……why not say “Yes”. This stopped the micey in its tracks. I swear that this totally threw Stuart for a short time. I immediately enjoyed some brief micey respite until he soon cottoned onto my scheme. For when I would say “Yes”, he’d just say, “Rubbish”, and the micey went on.

On the subject of swearing….he enjoyed a good obscenity though he wasn’t one to use vulgarity. His go-to swear word of choice was undoubtedly the word CR*P. Everything, at one time or another could be cr*p, bl**dy cr*p or some other form of cr*p, especially when describing Manchester United in recent years.

sage financial instructions

I will miss his sage financial guidance, sorry…his sage financial instructions. For as long as I can remember, Stuart has done my annual self-assessment. Every year, around April/May time I would take a call from him. “So I’ve done your return”, he would start. Never a “hello” or a “how are you”.

“I’ve got bad news” he then added on one occasion some years ago. “I’ve had a right ding with HMRC and you now owe them the grand total of £17.91. Even better news is that I’ve put it on your coding for next year, and you will only have to pay the buggers an extra £1.49 a month.” He’d finish off by saying “good that” which he always said when he was well chuffed with himself.

I will miss those calls. I will more miss the days when I only had to pay £17.91 in back-dated tax!

Stuart, as we know, was a very generous man but he was also about value for money. He liked nice things but not at any cost. One could say he was a bit of an enigma. For me, this was most evident during our wonderful holidays to Cannes together. Sat on a ludicrously expensive sun bed on the beach, he’d sometimes order us all a Diet Coke, ten Euros a pop and not an eyebrow raised. This was from a man who would utterly revel in any successful attempt to save a penny here or there.

revel in any successful attempt to save a penny here or there

His generosity knew no bounds in Cannes. In fact, he once let me borrow his clothes one night….. I should re-phrase. I had to borrow his clothes one night. On arrival at Nice airport, my suitcase with all my clothes went missing. First night in Cannes on a particularly hot evening and I’m facing the prospect of having to stay in the hotel room with no summer clothes to wear. Wendy and Martine had the obvious solution…..that I was to wear Stuart’s clothes. Now, not only was there a significant height difference but these were the days before he discovered the giant tin of chocolate covered raisins from Costco and I definitely had a few extra pounds on him. All I remember is walking along the Croisette with shorts that I couldn’t do up and which closely resembled hot pants and a t-shirt that my girls could only describe as seriously cropped.

I will miss his sharp wit. One of my earliest encounters with him, circa 1993/94, came during one of our university holidays. I was at home one evening in London when Martine calls me from Sale. From a landline phone. I’ll explain what this is to the kids later. She wants to see me. Made to feel unfairly guilted but at the same time stupidly love struck, I leave home at 10pm that same night to make the three hour journey up north. Greeting me at the door at 1am was not Martine but Stuart, wearing that favourite combo of t-shirt and boxer shorts. He looks me up and down and simply says, “Shmock”, turns away and goes to bed.

I loved him

I could go on like one of his miceys but suffice to say that Stuart made a huge impact in my life. I never directly told him that I loved him; he would simply have told me I’d gone soft. But love him I did and in his honour I will continue to dote on his little girl, to be the best role model I can be to Ella and Paige, to remain very close with Ashley, Danielle and Natasha and to always be there for you Wendy, no matter what.

Bye Stu-Pot.

Words by

Wendy Reece Wife

I know this is a unique situation but my Stuart was a unique man. Just because I am not the proverbial weeping widow doesn’t mean I’m not weeping inside as my life will never be the same again and I feel truly blessed to think between us we made two wonderful children who married two wonderful people, Danielle and Darren.

He was so proud of you all and through that we have our three gorgeous girls in Ella, Natasha and not forgetting our baby granddaughter Paige or “Paigey” as he always fondly referred to her. That is our legacy as some of him is in each of the three of you.

his distinctive cleft chin

Ella is truly a mini Stuart or ‘little Lily’ as we fondle refer to her. In fact Martine often complains (an apt word considering I am referring to Stuart), “It’s like parenting my Dad!”. And then we have our Natasha who is studying maths at Bristol Uni, so that’s his aptitude for figures; and her dramatic talents and attributes you inherited from Popa. And last but not least, our Paigey who will always be our baby, even though she now towers over us, but she has got his distinctive cleft chin which I always loved about him which he in turn inherited from his Dad, my very handsome father-in-law Issy.

Well I think I have covered everything and just want to say that I have been truly overwhelmed by all the love and affection that has been shown for my gorgeous, unique Stuart. I am so glad I went on that younger JNF weekend at The Palm Court hotel where we met in 1967 otherwise I would not have been able to experience all the wonderful fifty four years we had together and wouldn’t be able to be saying this now, and thank everyone for being here supporting me at this difficult time.

When we married in 1970 I think I was the first bride to give a speech at her wedding and I remember Lily saying that her friends had never known anything like it. My own darling Daddy died three months before we got married and I was so pleased he knew Stuart. As a young couple it gave us a strong foundation to start our marriage that most young couples don’t experience until further on in their lives.

never a dull minute in our house

He was a character and I love characters. In fact there certainly was never a dull minute in our house. Yes he could moan and also shout, boy could he shout, but I certainly wouldn’t have liked a yes man. And I suppose hearing all Martine’s friends say how much they loved being in our house growing up because Stuart was so very different from their dads. One of Martine’s friends, Angie, used to call him ‘Uncle Dude’ and I think that sums him up because he liked to be stylish and he was.

Words by

Ashley Reece & Martine Reuben Son and daughter

Stone Setting

ASH:

Rabbi, Mum, Auntie Dev, family and friends. We can’t thank you enough for coming. Especially those who travelled from far and near, we truly appreciate your efforts to be here. Auntie Dev, Dad’s sister, we know the last year has been hard without the almost daily weather updates from Dad in London. We are truly made up you made it down with Graeme and Joanne for today.

MART:

A few short thoughts on life after Stu although it still feels like he’s just nipped out for a paper or to play snooker at the club and will wander in any minute.

Mum, we are so proud of you. Your Scouse grit, sociability and positive outlook have helped you cope.

We want to thank our close friends and family who have propped us up over the last eleven months. Darren and Danielle you have both been wonderful.

ASH:

Life is more dull, more quiet and emptier without you around, Dad. But we focus on the good times and thankfully there are loads of those.

MART:

We want to keep it brief, light and so in a style we think Dad would have liked, here is our synopsis of him, his likes, dislikes, hangups…. although we’d be here a long time if we went into all of those.

ASH:

Dad…

Loved a cold Coke, like to tell a long joke,

Was a ream dude, and financially shrewd.

Followed Man U, liked a sea view; while on a big boat, liked to float,

On many cruises, and made excuses, not to fly (no, we don’t really know why),

Free wifi,

Outside cabin, hobnobbing with the captain,

He’d only book it,

With on board credit.

MART:

He was…

A tax muller, investment puller; fixed term interest, was always the best.

A tax man, vat fan, P.A.Y.E-glee, P Sixty, kept him alive with no P Forty-Five.

Ticking and blotting, column and row, tapping the calculator, screen aglow.

He was..

Snooker loopy, never flukey, black ball rocket, blamed the pockets.

Hertsbourne Senior cup winner, cricket ball spinner, squash ball hitter, badminton shuttlecock swatter,

Had the best legs and knees

In the Jewish football league.

ASH:

He…

Didn’t care for mutts. Didn’t like their fluff, annoyingly wiped it off.

Didn’t do, picking up grand dogs’ poo.

Dog head patter not so often, after enough Auchentoshan

He was a..

Tregaron seller, then a Bushey fella.

LP vinyl collector, cine camera projection-er, home video editor.

A Chartered Accountant, liked a discount, Sale shul worker, not a shirker,

For ever, their Treasurer.

A gamatria grand master, a minyan man, Rabbi fan.

Hated matzah cos it cracked, but loved angimacht.

Although chocolate matzah, made him happier.

MART

A…

Beatles lover, Buddy Holly’s brother, guitar strummer, tune hummer,

Finger tapper, always looked dapper.

Wore smart attire, boutique man’s shop clothes buyer.

Full head of hair, no grey there, receded a bit, but that’s it.

A Silver fox, but not from a box

Party specs, only two dance steps.

Simchas quite a few, with Popa Stu.

Liked a crowd as long as music not too loud.

ASH

He..

Loved ketchup and HP, coffee and tea, mushy peas,

Ate fish and chips, watched Netflix

And some of the time, footy on Prime (logged in on mine).

Always peckish, crisp sandwich fetish, pick’n’mix, chocolate biscuits,

Liked sucky sweets, really any sweet treats, including Victory V and aniseed.

Broke many crowns, made him frown; needed drilling down, the root canal. Dental adventures but still no dentures.

MART

He..

Talked a lot, never stopped, didn’t pause for breath, except to direct.

Was a complain-aholic, compensation his tonic.

Writing was fun, if to the ombudsman.

Customer services floored….

Don’t you know I’m a Lord!

Advanced, backseat and Honda driver,

Always a striver to be an early arriver.

Traffic phobia, slow-coach taker over.

Hoot and shout, never without

The sat nav on (talked more than him).

He used to smoke, was not very woke.

A smartphone avoider until jealousy took over, then constant iPhone holder.

ASH

He..

Told buba miceys, knew all the prices especially fuel, so not a fool

And would always go, to Costco, scanning each row.

But to save a little, shopped at Lidl.

He was..

A bit negative, very tentative. A bit glass half-full, but liked to leg pull.

Always fun, a people pleaser, top geezer.

Repetitive, competitive,

Could be fiery Fred, sometimes saw red

“Do something instead – you’re in the head”.

Would especially call, if we touched the walls.

But when things as they should, said they were “dead good”

“Have I told you about…” yes we’d shout!”

How we miss

Your hug and kiss.

You were a bit mad. But you are our Dad.

MART

Dad was…

Generous, hilarious, proud of us.

A doting father, adored Popa, loving brother

Great uncle, cousin & friend to one and another.

With a big heart, that’s Stuart.